Most Liked Excuses
Words per excuse (?):
me not 24 blood having trampoline; an—jury give, gradual.
am I a paving getting—inside “viagra” at kids I on toe.
#1 by Brian Potter
“My head got stuck in the dryer while it was on. I received massive burns to my retinas and was rushed to the hospital by my 8 year old daughter who drove one-handed after her hand got stuck in the toaster, we're both in critical condition with massive third degree burns and on life support. The doctors have given me a miracle cell regeneration shot and expect a speedy recovery in 24 hours like it never happened and hopefully I'll be in tomorrow. ”
1.13% / 18.29%
#2 by Travis
“Sure, I can...hold on I am getting a text....What? I told them I would never. Sorry, I have to deal with this. ”
1.13% / 60.00%
#3 by anonymous
“I think I left the iron on.”
1.13% / 33.33%
#4 by anonymous
“I need to give evidence.”
1.05% / 27.45%
#5 by anonymous
“The city is paving my street and I cant get out”
0.98% / 22.41%
#6 by anonymous
“I'm having my eyes checked this noon, and they put drops in them so I won't be able to work afterwards.”
0.98% / 31.71%
#7 by Cathy
“My dog is on fire.”
0.90% / 21.82%
#8 by anonymous
“A friend of my is giving birth and she wanted me to be there.”
0.90% / 32.43%
#9 by tracyshaun
“Too busy coming to grips with my gradual genetic transformation into a fly after a particularly nasty teleportation accident.”
0.83% / 57.89%
#10 by anonymous
“I've … I … I'm not … I don't … I CAN'T COPE WITH THIS!!”
0.83% / 28.21%
#11 by anonymous
“My kids are locked inside.”
0.83% / 15.28%
#12 by anonymous
“I have to destroy the legions of the undead with my chainsaw. ”
0.83% / 30.56%
#13 by anonymous
“I'm getting married, and I have to figure out to whom.”
0.83% / 25.58%
#14 by anonymous
“I need to give up.”
0.83% / 22.00%
#15 by anonymous
“I need to give blood.”
0.75% / 20.41%
#16 by Matthew
“I have a severe phobia of __________”
0.75% / 28.57%
#17 by Nicolas
“I'd love to come out but in my sleep deprived state I took my grandfather's Viagra instead of my multi vitamin and I'd rather not go out right now.”
0.75% / 40.00%
#18 by Jerry
“Jury Duty.”
0.75% / 20.41%
#19 by anonymous
“I have to go home now and have an orange, as I have scurvy.”
0.75% / 18.18%
#20 by anonymous
“My kids are stuck in the door.”
0.75% / 19.61%
#21 by anonymous
“I set up a trampoline in my basement, and think I am suffering from a concussion”
0.75% / 16.13%
#22 by anonymous
“Digging a grave”
0.75% / 22.73%
#23 by Dimitri
“I realy do not feel anything for you. So please don't ask me again. Ever. Thanx”
0.75% / 55.56%
#24 by anonymous
“I have to get my big toe calibrated.”
0.75% / 23.81%
#25 by anonymous
“The police are at the back door. Cover me.”
0.75% / 18.18%
What's going on here?
Some recent thoughts/research about HTML semantics, javascript, poetry, and tag clouds led to this. I wanted to use text from the Most Liked excuses as a way to visualize and navigate the information.
I started running a few words from each excuse into random sentences. I added some math to control punctuation (4% chance of punctuation, 50% chance that it will be a period. If not a period, there is a 20% chance that it will be a semi-colon, 20% an m-dash, and 60% a comma), and you're able to control the number of words that appear from each excuse.
Some of them are really funny (bless the folks who used "Salman Rushdie" and "Worldcomm") and some are really, really weird.
All, however, are awesome.